You've told your stories, you've shared your dreams, and you've muttered a few words about what you'd like to eat for dinner. Now, you feel like you literally have nothing creative, interesting, or important left to say gilrfriend and the silence is deafening. So, what do you do next?
You've told your stories, you've shared your dreams, and you've muttered a few words about what you'd like to eat for dinner. Now, you feel like you literally have nothing creative, interesting, or important left to say — and the silence is deafening. So, what do you do next?
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This moment can certainly be a turning point in a long-term relationship, but there is no need to panic — especially since the more you worry about coming up with something new to saythe harder it'll be. Josh Klapowa clinical psychologist, tells Bustle. It's also OK to talk about the same thing more than once. But there girlfrind ways to remedy it all the same. If you'd like to chat about fun things, here are a few ways to strike up a conversation with your partner, even if it feels like you've already talked about everything.
Get Into A Healthy Debate If it feels like your conversations have screeched to a halt, try stirring up a healthy debate.
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Marlene Carosellian author and speaker, tells Bustle. Or throw out a fun topic — like, "do you think aliens exist? If you both agree, cool. But if you don't, it'll quickly turn into a battle of the wits. And who knows? You might even learn something new about each other. Ask About Their Day This is a conversation you can have every single day. So if you aren't already in the habit, girlfgiend sharing yalk highs and lows after you've spent time apart. How was work? What went well? What didn't?
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As Christie Tcharkhoutian, LMFTa d marriage and family therapist says, this simple discussion will deepen your connection, stay on the sameand ultimately help you weather life's ups and downs as a couple. If it's been a minute, talk about what you'd like to do in the next year, five years, etc.
Talk About The Past On gitlfriend flip side, the past is also an untapped source for good stories. So, while you've likely covered the basics, try to delve deeper by sharing childhood secrets or telling old family stories. Play The Question Game Have you ever played the question game?
It's simple, since all it involves is you guessed it! There is, however, a twist or two, Dan Munroa confidence and relationship coach, tells Bustle. It's like truth or dare No one ever said you have to be a complete open book, just because you're in a relationship. But this game will help build a sense of closeness between you, if you trust each other with a secret or two.
Tell Each Other Exactly How You Feel If you can't shake the nagging feeling you've "run out of things to say," Munro says it's often a you're keeping your cards too close to your chest, and not letting each other in. So go ahead and get real.
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Ask how your partner feels, right this moment. What would they like to work on in your relationship? What's bothering them? The more honest and open you are, the better your relationship will feel. Share Random Thoughts In the same vein, consider sharing "random" thoughts witj emotions, even if they don't seem conversation-worthy. As Munro says, the "noise inside your head" can be quite interesting. And since it's always changing, you technically can't run out of things to say. Of course, this doesn't mean blurting out hurtful things, or talking just for the sake of talking.
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Instead, it's ta,k pulling inspiration from your inner dialogue — your daydreams, thoughts, concerns, etc. Bring it all to the surface, and see where the conversation le. Talk About Physical Intimacy This is a topic you should be chatting about regularly, to make sure you're both happy and on the same.
But it's also fun to share your fantasies, especially if you've never talked about them before. So, how's your sex life? Are you both fulfilled? Do you want to try something new? It may feel awkward at first, but questions like these can spark a healthy convo that you've probably never had before. Ask Them What They'd Change If your partner could change one thing from their past, what would it be?
What would they do differently, if they could go back in time? By knowing what your partner regrets, you girlfriemd work together as a couple to ensure history doesn't repeat itself. Talk About Regrets Similarly, you can learn more about each other's pasts by chatting about regrets. As Bennett says, "It can be a great way to be vulnerable with each other. Chat About A New Hobby Life can certainly feel monotonous when you're following ro,antic same schedule day in and day out.
So make a point of shaking things up. Part ways and visit friends, try a solo hobby, or simply spend some time alone.
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t When you meet up again, you'll both have plenty to discuss. Learn More About What Influences Them Ask about heroes, or people or things that influence your partner, including family members, favorite authors, political figures, etc. Ask About Their Ideal Career It's easy to get stuck in topica career field for the paycheck, instead of for the passion. So ask what would your partner do if money was no object? From there, consider ways to support each other in taking steps towards a more ideal job, if possible.
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If either of you feels stuck in life or in your relationship, going back to school or making a career change might be just what you need to feel inspired again. When romantic topics to talk with girlfriend succumb to boredom, or are in a stodgy routine, it's easy to just go through the motions without keeping an eye out for funny moments. But they're always there.
Make a point of bringing levity back into your day by telling funny stories, joking around with each other, and making witty observations. Chances are you did this all the time when you first started dating, so bring it back! Admit To Embarrassing Moments Another way to make each other laugh? Fess up girlfrienx your embarrassing moments, whether they happened five minutes ago, or five years ago, Leina Rodriguez, LMFTa d marriage and family therapist, tells Bustle.
Not roomantic is it fun to lightly rib each other after a screw up, Rodriguez says "it can also help you learn how your partner overcomes [their mistakes], or if they have a hard time letting go. Choose A Conversation Starter When in doubt, turn to the trusty internet for some couple-y questions, as a way of finding new things to talk about, Sarit Fassazadeh, LCSWa d clinical social worker, tells Bustle.
Start with the 36 questions that lead to love, from The New York Times. Play A Thought-Provoking Game There's nothing quite like a rousing game of Trivial Pursuit — or another game that gets your mental gears turning — so dust yours off and get to playing. Annestedt, LCSWa d clinical social worker, tells Bustle, while ro helping you step out of a boring routine. Because really, who doesn't love game night?
If you answered "always," you're missing out on a prime opportunity to talk about what you just watched, Alysha Perlman, LCSWa d clinical social worker, tells Bustle. Get Real About Money Since couples historically hate talking about moneychances are you haven't discussed finances lately — if at all.
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So if you're at a loss for what to talk about, this might be your ticket. There will be moments of silence in your relationship, as well as moments of great conversation and deeper discussions. Find a balance between the three, don't force it, and chances are you'll never run out of things to say.